When speaking to Vanilla Folks, that’s you plain-hetero people (no offense), the most common question I get asked about my sexuality is “Why do lesbian women use strap ons?” 😒 Remember, I can and will only speak on my own experiences so I’ll try to break my explanation down for you all.
Strap-Ons: A Strap-Ons, also known as a strap on dildo, is designed to be used by anyone of any gender or sexuality for sexual activities. The specific one I’ll be referring to is where there is a harness in which a dildo (separate item) can be attached to and the harness supports the insertion and/or penetration. To clarify, the dildo itself is the item that resembles a male penis or anal toy commonly used by holding it in your hands for penetration or friction, while the strap on is the holster or harness worn which can be leather, braided cotton, plush and/or velvety. A dildo can be found in many different sizes, shapes, colors, hollowed, etc. When combined with the strap on harness, your possibilities of play time vary.
As a same gender living woman, I still love penetration. Penetration is the easiest way to make me squirt; which i’ve become to love doing. However, I love women. Women aren’t equipped with penises (duh!) so if your going to have sex and incorporate penetration, a strap on is the most convenient toy to use. Some women use fingers but to be honest, that’s not always as sanitary or sufficient as you’d think it may be.
Now I know some readers may be thinking of the most common question every strap on using female hears, “So why not just fuck with a man/real dick?” I will be more than happy to tell you the most common sense answer —> we like to have sex with women and not men. It’s honestly that simple. We prefer sex with women. Yes, we know men are made with dicks. We get it! Just because we want penetration does not mean that we want to be associated with the person/body the penis comes with. Nor are some women attracted to males, point-blank.
The strap on grants a more sensual way for same gender lovers to have sex. Most straps are easy to put on and are adjustable. As the giver, aka the person wearing the strap, you are able to coordinate more position options into your sex life. You are also able to enjoy the view of the receiver in ways you may have not previously had the pleasure to see before using the toy. Strap-Ons can be a very big confidence booster for some people. The power you have in pleasuring your partner this way is pretty intense. You can control the depth and speed ways that using a different tot it fingers may not provide. You can switch the dildo within the harness for a variety of experiences. It also feels oh so good when you thrust and harness starts to rub your own genitalia. I love friction, so when I use a strap, I almost can cum by the rubbing I feel on my clitoris each time I move (which is enhanced by my VCH piercing). It’s also great for those that want body to body contact. You’re free to use your hand where in other scenarios without a strap, your fingers might be occupied and often exhausted.
As the receiver, you’ll have the chance to give your partner all of you. As a woman, it’s easy to clench your vagina (kegels, ladies!) to control how deep or hard another toy or digit(s) can go. With harness, you allow for more intimacy and room for further touch like nipple or anal play. You can also show off some new tricks and give your partner a break. My personal favorite is having my lover lay down on her back while I ride her reverse cowgirl style.
There are jock style strap-ons and harnesses. The jock style gives more comfort and control. It helps keep the dildo in its place as you continue to move. Harnesses often are very simple and easy to use but can be difficult to control as your rhythm changes.
All in all, your sexual adventures are your own to do with as you see fit. This post was written to help explain and hopefully aid some of my fellow strap on users as they attempt to tackle the question we hear so often. Please share this post with those who are not aware of the simple idea that we can like penetration and it doesn’t matter if we prefer it to not come from men. lol I’m infatuated by a woman’s body and having my lover pleasure me the way I like without changing who she is.
enjoy my sensual sinners!